We have treated thousands of individuals who wet the bed. We know that as bedwetting continues and a child grows older, emotional symptoms can increase.
Parents often recognize the impact bedwetting is having on their child or teenager but are routinely given advice that downplays the bedwetting as normal or something that time will repair.
A mom wrote the email below. She took the time to reflect on how tough the continuation of the bedwetting problem was for her son. She gave us feedback about how insightful our videos were and called the experience “A Ha” moments. She appreciated watching children and parents discuss what they had gone through: similar emotions, frustration and failure.
Like so many moms and dads who call, write, or make a video after completing our bedwetting treatment program, they talk about years of ignoring the deep sleep, mad when waking them in the morning for school is difficult, making them wear Pull ups, refusing sleepovers, watching them act spacey, wondering why grades are sliding.
“Finding your treatment center has been a journey. your website was an eye opener. There were many enlightening moments for me while watching your video clips.
While we have never scolded Wayne for wetting the bed every night since birth, we did make him wear pull-ups until about a year ago. He was only seven, but mad at us for “forcing him” to feel like a baby. Now he wakes up in a cold wet bed. He is embarrassed by it. He is confused by it. We wrapped him up at night in towels hoping to not have to change the sheets the next day. He is embarrassed of course. He hides his wet pajamas and puts on dry pajamas. He worries that he smells like urine even though he does not. The sheets and towels often smell like urine. We wash them all of the time. Of course I do not have him go to sleep overs with anyone but our family because I do not want him to be embarrassed by wetting their beds and sheets. I do not him bullied, which is what children his age have begun to do when they find weakness. I also worry he would not sleep the entire night with anxiety about it too. Needless to say, his self-confidence has plummeted for this reason and possibly all of the other issues coming up.
He has always been spaced out. He has never woken up easily and it is always a battle for him to get dressed in the mornings. Another “A-ha” moment for me watching the videos. I have been researching the possible correlations with all of the issues and so, of course, I thought possibly ADHD. A Kaiser Insurance evaluation was quick to diagnose he has Inattentive ADD since Wayne is not hyper but spaces out and falls behind. The Kaiser diagnosis was not convincing for us, so we have decided to keep researching. We found your article about ADD and bedwetting and the lights went on in our brains!
He is not learning very much in his “good” public school classroom. There are 23 in his class with a one particularly disruptive child. I help in the classroom on Mondays and Fridays for many reasons: the teachers need another set of hands, to support my son and his classmates, and know what is happening with Wayne relative to his classmates. I am very fortunate to have a work schedule allowing me to help in the classroom. He is doing satisfactory work in the class but only due to the after school 3:1 program he goes to 2 times per week. I am convinced my son would fail this grade if I did not help.
I did not realize, until I read your website about the deep sleep disorder and how it causes the bedwetting. I was a big relief to my son when I explained why he keeps wetting the bed. I thought it was all about just my son’s bedwetting problem, but that type of sleep and the bedwetting really runs in my family.
My younger brother suffered a very long time from bedwetting. I believe he wet the bed through 12 and even 13 years old. My siblings are close. We never teased him but we saw what he went through – to feel that pain of thinking something was wrong with him since my sister and I never had the issues. He had low self-confidence and developed a terrible lisp from stress, I believe. His oldest daughter at almost 8 years old still wets the bed every few nights. She is an extremely deep sleeper just like my son. Tom (Wayne’s Dad) is also a very deep sleeper. Tom snores in his sleep. My Dad has sleep apnea. Why didn’t the doctor take the time to explore all this history?
Sorry for this long email. I just want you to know more of the information. I am worried my son may have all of the issues due to a sleep disorder if I don’t do anything about this. That is why we are looking forward to our first appointment with you.
Thank you for your help.”
Shelby Township, Michigan