Bedwetting is a totally involuntary phenomenon, and it is complicated. Most professionals’ suggestions for cure are based upon a fundamental misunderstanding of bedwetting.
42 years of successfully treating bedwetting has proven that no amount of restricting fluids before bed or trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night will put an end to bedwetting. Drug therapy is only a temporary “fix” for someone who wets the bed and usually leads to another failure experience.
No amount of self-talk before bed can reduce the profound distance from any level of consciousness that the bedwetter’s sleep creates.
We are forever grateful when a parent is willing to take the time to write about not only their experience with our bedwetting programs, but the frustrations and misdirection that occurred trying to solve the problem.
This mom wrote to her private counselors here at the Enuresis Treatment Center and asked that her son’s story be shared with other parents searching for help to put a permanent end to bedwetting.
Peyton is very confidential about his journey with Enuresis. So I will tell the story. We have been working actively on trying to stop the bedwetting since Peyton was 4. Around the age of 5 we went to a Pediatric urologist in the area, which they are supposed to be renowned. All they suggested was to stop drinking fluids close to bedtime and for him to take Miralax to help him go to the bathroom daily so that wasn’t adding to the issue. They also suggested a medication that was supposed to help and encourage him along. With hesitation we started the medication, and Peyton ended up with one of the side effects, getting overheated when he was active. I just didn’t feel right about the medication in the first place, so I stopped it.
I tried doing the recommendations from the urologist, and nothing was working. We pretty much struggled with it for another 4 years, as close family would tell me that he will just grow out of it and to be patient. Be patient, really? Do they have any idea what it is like to wake up 3-5 times a week in the middle of the night and change the sheets? He didn’t want to wear the underwear (pull ups) he felt humiliated, so we used the disposable bed pads. It was both tough on us, because I tried so hard not to get mad, but in the middle of the night, you aren’t always rational. The worst though is how it affected Peyton, he would pretend that it didn’t bother him, but now and again he would just breakdown and cry and ask me if he will ever be able to get married or go to college? Completely heartbreaking! Be patient, as my poor son is slowly entering pre-adolescence and he still wets his bed, his self confidence just crushed. I pursued another option put together by some psychologist in Israel. He actually had some beneficial tips, his thing had a mat with tiny electric wires, and an alarm system. The whole deep sleep component however was missing from his method. We tried that method over and over for a couple of years. I was struggling and felt horrible for my son, who was now in 5th grade, and they had a science camp activity. He was only gone for 3 nights, but he literally had cotton underwear with little pads in them shoved in the bottom of his sleeping bag. So when he got in at night he would put them on. Then in the morning he would take them off and if wet, he would just run to the common bathroom and throw them away wrapped in a paper towel. It turned out he really just dribbled in them and left them in the bag, after 2 nights the smell wasn’t too bad, but by the time he got home I could tell it needed to be changed. This was so tough for him socially, and he is a happy well-liked kid in school, very active and has lots of friends.
As he entered 6th grade, nothing was working, and I was at my wits end. I stayed up all night researching something that could help him. Peyton also was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist with being “overactive” not ADD or ADHD, but very active. He also has tics, so he was suggested to take some magnesium and B6, that seemed to calm down the tics. Poor kid, what more could he have to decrease his self-confidence, but he is always happy on the outside, but I know deep down it really hurt him.
He has always been a VERY DEEP sleeper, very groggy in the am, and lots of mumbling at night. I found your bedwetting program information through a google search online, and you had actual research to back it, and mentioned the connection with the deep sleep and how helping the individual work on achieving healthy sleeping patterns, how this can help with things like over activity, and possible other neurological things.
It took us less than a year, although after 5 months, he really was having episodes that were VERY infrequent. What a difference from the wetting every night. You have helped so much in this whole process, you helped me feel that we aren’t the only ones, and Peyton although he would only talk to me about it, it helped him have more self-confidence. So far, he has been dry completely for almost 4 months now.
We officially graduated a couple of weeks ago. We got him a new bed, sheets, and comforter. He is so happy, and his self confidence is up, the other wonderful thing is, his tics are a lot less noticeable and some days I don’t even see them. We aren’t taking the supplements for them either, so I truly believe it has had a positive effect on them. We aren’t on the edge of our seat anymore in the middle of the night if I hear something, and in the morning when I wake up, I am no longer feeling his bed to see if it is wet. You have changed our lives and have helped my sweet son. I can’t thank you enough. At one time I felt like it was going to be a lifelong struggle for my son, and to know that it is no longer part of his life, is priceless. This is the best program for anyone with Enuresis. Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU! What a journey, and the fact that we no longer live with it, is beyond words!
Sincerely and forever grateful,
Melissa M Saratoga, NY
Author Michael Stallsmith, M.A., Sp. A., Director of Treatment
The Enuresis Treatment Center’s Director of Treatment is also a school psychologist. Michael Stallsmith has, over the past 20 years, been involved in over 20,000 cases. He is responsible for overseeing the counselors on our staff who work directly with the patients, and he is effective at implementing what’s needed for any challenging situations that may arise during treatment.
Michael continues his outreach with the medical community and school systems educating them about bedwetting and its relationship to the non-arousable sleep disorder. Michael has been on staff at the Enuresis Treatment Center since 1982.