I found this posting from a mom lamenting about her own childhood experiences with bed wetting. It is a sad story and mom is determined not to repeat the abuse served to her own brother.
We always tell parents you are your child’s only advocate and we want to give you the most experienced information regarding bedwetting treatment.
For almost four decades our staff has seen the consequences of untreated chronic bedwetting. Bedwetters are already less psychologically resilient to stress from wetting the bed year after year. They have expereinced failure, fear of discover which may translate to bullying, poor quality sleep (a deep sleep disorder causes chronic bedwetting), difficulty concentrating and wake up wet.
Since 1975 we have known the most important factor and cause of chronic bedwetting: a deep sleep disorder. Debrorah writes that her own son resumed bedwetting shortly after starting a new school. Stressor can cause us to sleep deeper, and in his case, produces a SYMPTOM of bedwetting.
Please contact our clinic, Deborah, and we will discuss a treatment plan to end the sleep disorder and allow him to wake up dry and refreshed.
“Bedwetting and wisdom from past abuse”
June 11, 2014
Deborah the Closet Monster wrote
“My dad was not a gentle man. My mom loathed to send my siblings and I with him, despite a court order granting him periodic visits.
Even the most stoic eventually crumble, and she once begged him to watch us for a few weeks while she took a little time off. As the oldest and favored child, I initially enjoyed this time. My mom and I were already starting to butt heads whereas my dad showered me with small gifts that blinded me to how differently he treated my siblings.
I saw the difference when a friend came for an overnight visit. My dad discovered my little brother, known here as “Big D,” had wet the bed. He became infuriated at what he took as a personal slight.
Shouting cruel words at my young brother wasn’t enough. Forcing him to clean up his mess was likewise not enough. No, the only way to fully and appropriately punish my brother was to also pull his wet underwear over his head and force him to wear it. In front of company.
I was mortified–that he’d done it, and that he’d done it in front of a friend.
Big D railed against each injustice he saw from a small age, but it took me time to learn from his example. I sat in quiet mortification as my friend called home to request a pick-up. Then, when I next spoke to my mom, I told her it was maybe time for her to come home.
My four-year-old son resumed wetting the bed shortly after starting at a new school, from which we quickly removed him.
We understood that it would take him time to recuperate from his traumatic experience there, especially in light of all the change at home, but we were surprised when he wet the bed during naptime. He hadn’t done that for many, many months.
Then he did it again. And again. The principal understood, as did his teacher. One of the new teachers, however, caught me this morning and discussed it briefly before concluding, not unkindly, “Sometimes they just get L-A-Z-Y!”
I sighed and rubbed my son’s head. I hate to let erroneous statements go, but I’ve learned over time that correcting every error leaves little time for anything else.
As I drove home, I thought about the teacher’s statement. I thought about my dad. I pulled over the car and brushed up on what I know about bedwetting, such as that it:
Is not a reflection of laziness.
Includes a genetic component; I wet the bed for many years, as, indubitably, did some of my forebears.
Isn’t directly inspired by stress, although stress indirectly increases its likelihood by influencing other behaviors bearing on sleep: eating, drinking, fear of falling asleep leading to overtiredness and sleep so deep–when it eventually comes–that it’s difficult to awaken from.
I stopped wetting the bed so much when my dad moved out. Although he was kindest to me, his sudden and unpredictable cruelty toward my mother distressed me. The same held true for Big D.
Li’l D isn’t wetting the bed because he’s lazy. He’s wetting the bed for many reasons, including a great deal of stress: my maternity leave, his dad’s break from work, a new brother and the resulting shift in loving attention focused on him, a traumatizing switch to a new school followed by a return to his old school, and the knowledge me and his dad will both be returning to work shortly. His entire world is in upheaval. It’s no wonder it’s hard for him to sleep, and hard for him to wake up when he finally does fall asleep.
Unlike my dad, I don’t take it personally. I know my son isn’t trying to get back at me or anyone else. He’s trying to re-find his foothold in this world. His dad and I are doing the best we can to help him with that, but we know it will take time, love and patience.
Those are things we happily offer, knowing it is they–not anger or violence–that will rectify both cause and symptom.